I am currently in the process of creating a Fuck It List. Yes, you read that correctly. I said Fuck It list. It is drastically different from a Bucket List. Those are made when you’re ready to die. You know, you’ve lived your best life and there are just a few things left to be done. Like skydiving or bungee jumping.
In contrast, a Fuck It List are things that if done you could very well result in death. A very painful death. And, yes, I’m prone to injury, so is making this list the smartest thing I could do? Absolutely not. Should I do this? A resounding no. But am I going to? Undoubtedly.
So, I want to begin the list with walking through fire. Not hot coals. I mean like there’s a fire pit, ten to twenty feet long. And I just wanna walk through it, butt naked, full on Daenerys Targaryen style.
Then I wanna flip a car. You know like, in action movies when the protagonist flips their car, and it’s really bad, and really intense, and the audience is stiff holding their breath to see if they crawl out.
Yeah, I wanna do that.
Then crash a plane. Not terrorist style. More like, it’s just me and I’m flying around, feeling myself, and then I just take a nosedive into the ocean.
I can’t swim.
So I wanna wrestle a bear. Have you ever seen someone wrestle a bear?
I haven’t either.
But I’ve heard about it and I imagine that it’s really scary. Adrenaline pumping hardcore. Yeah, that’s what I’m about.
Then wrestle an alligator.
Yeah. Then race an active volcano. So the volcano erupts, right? And lava is just slipping down the side. Then there’s little ole me just there. Trying to beat the molten the lava to safety. It may sound easy because lava just kind of pulses down the mountain fairly slowly. However, there is smoke and the strain to breathe needs to be factored in. Along with the ashes and the and the increasing loss of visibility.
It’ll be a challenge.
Then I wanna race an avalanche. Which is basically the same in opposite terrain. Just the smoke and ash aren’t a problem. And the snow will be moving at a much faster rate.
Then I'm gonna disappear in a forest. You know how in horror movies. There's always that one girl who gets mad at everyone and runs off by herself. Then she's murdered immediately. I wanna try it. See what happens.
Then wrestle a lion.
And go hitchhiking. People do it all the time. Sure only 24% of people are murdered or kidnapped whilst hitchhiking. However, factor in that I am female and black and will undoubtedly be doing this in the south, that number skyrockets to 89%.
So.. that’s a really bad idea. I’m actually going to remove that from the list.
Then I wanna swing from one ledge to another over a chasm. You know those deep canyons that make you sick to even look down. I wanna swing over one Tarzan style.
Then I wanna swim cross the Atlantic. That’s not really all that dangerous but I can’t swim and I feel like the panic of drowning will propel me through the water so..
Then I want to go on a ride along to an active crime scene. To maybe a shoot out with a drug cartel or something. Yeah, that seems like a stupidly good idea.
Then wrestle a shark.
And that's my list. You only live once, so fuck it! Am I right?
I came to this university for the sole purpose of seeing snow. I didn’t look at the academic programs, the student atmosphere, or even the tuition costs… and that’s why I’m in debt. I literally left my toasty home to come to the freezing mountains with no preparation or forethought. I just threw my stuff in a bag and bounced. Those from southern Arizona know how sticky hot it can get in August. It’s like a sauna everywhere. So, the 80s and 75s here, were a welcomed abnormality. And for the first couple of months I was content. Well, aside from the raging homesickness, I was content.
Then winter rolled around. This year, first snow was in late November. The 28th to exact. Oh, why do I remember that day? Good question. I remember it being that day precisely because my mom had called me that morning. She had been working on convincing me to transfer to the university back home. I won’t lie, by that point I had really been considering it. I had already gotten a taste of living in a four-season city, and I was not fond of it. Moving here, allotted me the understanding that I don’t like the cold and that I find my bones freezing dangerously uncomfortable. The thing is, I was sourly unprepared for a “real winter.” I didn’t have snow boots, still don’t, or an effective jacket.
So, my mom’s call came with the advice that I should sit down with my advisor and look at the next steps to out of here. I did. But on my way there, I realized how little traction converse have. I slipped and ate it. Hard. Just outside the Student Success Center. I even cut my knee on a random piece of ice, ripping my jeans, my favorite jeans. And had my ignominy not been enough, some guy standing outside started laughing. Laughing so hard, even, he had to walk away, shaking his head in belief. I went into that meeting with a new determination… and blood streaming down my leg.
Fortunately, I was confronted with the news that I wouldn’t be able to transfer the next semester like I planned. My financial aid wouldn’t allow it. I was going to have to wait until the following fall, unless, of course, I planned on being buried in my debts instead of a coffin. So, I buckled down.
It was about a week later and it had just snowed. Again. I was walking back to my dorm from the movie theatre with a friend of mine. It was late and it was cold, and we thought we heard screaming. We had. As we rounded our street, we saw ten, maybe fifteen, dudes rolling a massive snow ball across the street to the field. We couldn’t just leave then. So, we found ourselves hanging out with them. Five of them had been friends prior to this event and we were standing outside, in the cold, for a about three hours with them. Why we didn’t just go into we were standing in front of? I don’t know. But standing there I realized that I was chatting with the guy who had mocked at me a week before. So, I confronted him.
“Hey, you’re the guy who laughed at me for eating it out outside the Student Success Center.”
He said he didn’t remember that, and even now he denies it, but I know it was him. By the end of the night we had exchanged contact info with everyone and through the rest of semester we continued to hang out with them. We found that they were not a typical group of men. In the traditional sense they are rowdy and somewhat annoying, and generally ignored the fact that some things just shouldn’t be done on a college campus. But they are also the coolest, wildest, smartest dumb shits I have ever met; and just before winter break, we had officially infiltrated their group.
Whilst on my break I found myself looking forward to my return. Don’t get me wrong, I needed the time off, but I was excited for what was in store for the next semester. Having done no research prior to applying, I pleasantly surprised to find that the writing programs here were going to serve me well. Being a Creative Writing major was looking like it going to have a large pay out. So, I was thrilled to head back and trudge through the snow again. And upon my return I saw my rowdy boys.
Which brings me to last night, when I was again, hanging out these extravagantly weird dudes. We were playing Cards Against Humanity and I’m not sure why, but I looked up at my best friend who was laughing like an idiot, at my roommate who was disappointed with her hand, and at the rest of the rambunctious group, and I regretted nothing. Even today, on this very snowy day, I’m glad I decided to come. And I’m glad I decided to stay.
A Twisted Fate is now officially in the amazon store. Well, it was in stores officially five days ago. But I just made the website so I'm bragging about it now.
It's awesome right? It's my first website so I don't really know.
Anyway, I'm gonna be posting here with updates about book tours and other publishing events so check this out for new information.
Oh and also here's a link to the book:
That's all for today, folks. Stay happy!