Don't get comfortable
Even though the bed is warm
This is not your home
Sleep on the floor
Or sleep in your car
Because this is not your home
You're not welcomed
You're not loved
Remember you're all alone
Your arms are empty
The world is cold
You're doomed to roam
Don't ask him to come
He won't want to
He'll also leave you alone
He'll always leave you alone
You'll always be alone
You'll never find a home
You like make-believe and butterflies? No.
You don't want to believe in what you know.
Pretend we're happy so long as I smile,
Though, it feels like I've died for a while.
You don't care, you won't care. I know that truth.
Because I know I mean nothing to you.
You can pretend, I know that you will
Keep going to see how long it takes to heal.
It was clear now that you didn't love me.
In love you can't be as mean as you'd be.
You demanded all of me without words,
And expected me to know what you'd need.
If I was wrong, or forgot you'd leave me
Empty so I'd run to meet your decree.
You'd know exactly how to make me beg
To give you one of my arms and a leg.
Sip me, drink me dry. Take all of my heart
And leave me to die. Just tear me apart.
It's not like you were one to be polite.
I'll know you'll get what you want anyway.
You wanted all of me and gave nothing.
I'm not your queen, but you're my tyrant King.
Keep me tied up and lonely, on a string.
No real love, no happiness. Just fake
Empty gestures for me to cling on to,
Handing out enough to keep me coming.
I often wonder why I stay around.
You don't ask me to stay. You don't care if
I go. You wouldn't see if I fell off a cliff
I think that here there no love I found.
I like to think so. I hope and I pray.
But I deceive myself in my own words.
I could go have a meeting with the birds,
I might go tell them that I'm not okay.
But you want me to play and keep smiling.
You like games, and I'm good at pretending.
You left me to feel abandoned alone.
But why care for the girl you say you love.
As if in your heart I was nothing of.
That's how it felt when you spoke in that tone.
You smiled and said " it doesn't matter,"
You might as well have said I don't either.
This woman, whose rug you pulled from beneath her
Eyes closed, I hit the floor with a splatter
Dare not look, dare not see, my pain building,
The ache was piling up inside of me.
But if I looked more painful it would be.
I laid blindfully, eyes closed and stinging.
My head hung low. I looked as though I died.
My eyes hurt. Swollen with tears I have cried.
I had high hopes for you. Maybe too high.
I don't expect a prince. I don't want one.
But to hold my heart like the moon and sun.
Don't praise, but cherish my loving supply.
To make me feel wanted, that's all I'll need.
But you seem so thoughtless. At least of me.
Don't you ever wonder what we could be
If you just took the time to plant a seed?
I really don't think I'm asking too much.
Are you scared? Are you hiding? Open up!
Need me! I have enough to fill your cup.
If all it is you need is just my touch.
I beg that you spare me some attention.
Even pretend that I hold your affections...
Two seasons have passed and snow packs the ground.
We met at a party with people around.
I'll admit I was scared to you.
But you made it easy, so then I knew.
You made me feel pretty and important
Your soul, your heart, your love was absorbent.
Days rolled by. Weeks and months before my eyes.
And all of that time, filled with happy sighs.
I didn't wish for you, but you still came
Just to grant me something by a new name.
You were something I never knew I'd need
All of my expectations, you'd exceed.
I was being carried in a basket.
You don't know how much I wished it lasted.
All I have ever known has gone to rot.
Burning; Set ablaze by one I trusted.
Stabbed in the back by a needle rusted.
Continue in my life, that I cannot.
Someone might call me pathetic and weak
And that I just need to deal with the ache.
That I just need to "learn from my mistake,"
Like I chose to be victim of a freak!
I would have given him everything.
Anything I had. Had he only asked.
He would have never had to be unmasked
But my angel willing clipped his wing.
I know, to hurt me was his only goal.
But still my heart dies with the love he stole.
With my whole heart, I gave him my vast love,
In my home, I gave him warmth and safety.
But his unseen intentions were crafty,
For in his heart, true love was in void of.
He had plots that I would not dare to think.
He wanted to see me at my limit
and was not coy, but very explicit.
Things he tried just to push me to my brink.
He spited me and my wish to abstain.
In my body, he made angry and crude,
Then he whispers his unmeant gratitude.
Yet, I knew I will never love again.
For in that one night I lost all of me.
From then on, my soul was lost in black sea.