Black Butterflies; Sonnet 6

Keep me tied up and lonely, on a string.
No real love, no happiness. Just fake
Empty gestures for me to cling on to,
Handing out enough to keep me coming.
I often wonder why I stay around.
You don't ask me to stay. You don't care if
I go. You wouldn't see if I fell off a cliff
I think that here there no love I found.
I like to think so. I hope and I pray.
But I deceive myself in my own words.
I could go have a meeting with the birds, 
I might go tell them that I'm not okay.
     But you want me to play and keep smiling.
     You like games, and I'm good at pretending.